as if bursting of happiness

=)
those moments we count on fingers... fingers that no longer mind counting more or less times... just as long as they count, they are happy. Just as me.
It's the kind of happiness that makes me think that if, at that moment, I died, it wouldn't be bad. Maybe I wouldn't even have minded...It would just make me remember more the last feeling I had... which was happiness. The greatest I've ever felt.
Some ppl never feel it, others don't even want to. But as for me, I want it in a way only I can want. Not everyday.... but.. once..a month ; so I never forget how I love this life... how I love everything about it and how I wish all good to everyone. How it is wonderful to feel as if you were a feather being carried away by the wind in a nice gentle way; in a way that makes the feather not mind being only a miserable non-existential feather.*All those times,(when it was still part of a bird) didn't feel as wonderful as that one...it realized that no bird flight was compared to the one it was experiencing right at that moment.. by itself! "As if I could fly"*

Hard it is to remember moments like that when you feel like shit. When nothing makes you want to go on but drop the life or forget it and never look back, think of times like these.. and think that because it was so happy,it makes sense to continue living, not minding much about stupid problems... tomorrow is a complete new day and tomorrow it might be the next moment of extreme happiness... a smile of yours must be stronger than one tear and the decision of carring on must also be stronger than one life-complication. Fuck all the problems. It doesn't make sense to suffer for it because crying never brings anything. It's not like in cartoons, that if you cry and show that have feelings something good will be done for you by someone.. understand that things never come out of the blue because of nothing, for nothing. If something happened, instead of upsetting yourself, grow up!, stop crying and learn with it.

That's why, no matter how little the moment of happiness is, mind about it, care about it and remember it as the best feeling you have ever had, and remember that small things, that you may not notice, may make out of a dark day a moment of pleasure and peace. Feel important when you feel happy... this means you are still someone who lives. And think that maybe one day someone will need your help, will need a smile and a hug and you'll be the one that'll make the difference... for you smiled and hugged him as if you were bursting of happiness giving away smiles and good thoughts to everyone.